Ellie started preschool today, and to say she loved it would be an understatement. This is the first time she has ever been to preschool, but she has been so excited that I wasn't concerned about leaving her at all. I should have known it would be a tough day, however, when she woke up a full hour early this morning because "she thought it was time to go to school." She was still tired, but there was no convincing her that she should get more sleep. Getting out of the house was rough because she thought the world was upside down. Everything was terrible - the brush hurt her neck, the milk was too cold, her toast was too hot, Kevin "makes too many dirty diapers", and on and on...
On the way to school, we talked about being nice to new people and listening to the teachers. Out of nowhere...
E: "How does God see us everywhere in the clouds when we can't see him?"
A: "Good question. You should ask him."
E: "Let's say a prayer now and ask Him."
So, we did. And we prayed that Ellie would have a good day and be light to the classroom. I dont know if she was an "angel" while I was gone, but once I arrived it wasn't clear if God had heard our prayer!!!! :-)
We got to school (she was "too tired" to walk to the building - but she did anyway!) and found her classroom. As I was talking with her teacher about what time I should return for the parent meeting, Ellie slipped away and found the aquarium and the bird cage. I said bye to her teacher and the left the room. Oops, I forgot to say bye to Ellie. So, I looked into the room through the window and she was already chatting by the aquarium with another child and one of the teachers. So, Kevin and I left - a little sad, but also very excited for Ellie. I knew she was going to love it.
Two and a half hours later, I arrived to attend the parent meeting. I had assumed the kids would be doing something fun while we had the meeting. But, when I got there, all the other kids were outside playing and about four kids, including Ellie, were in the parent meeting. This is were things really started to go wrong.
All the other kids where quietly sitting with their parents. What well-behaved kids!! Ellie kept coming over asking me to read her a story and she wanted to eat her lunch. I convinced her to go play. But when she did, the other teacher went over to her and told her something. So, she came back to me and started whining and hanging on me again. After leaving the room twice to talk with her and after running out of threats and punishments (already took away TV and no play dates with Sophia today or tomorrow), we left.
Looking back, she really wasn't behaving THAT badly. But she was talking while the teacher was talking and being pretty whiny. Mostly, I just felt bad that she was interrupting, and I was embarrassed because it was obvious I had NO control over her in this situation. I could see that I was not going to win the battle, so I didn't know what else to do.
Well, obviously, Ellie didn't want to leave, but we started walking. The further we got from the classroom, the louder her protests got. So, I stopped to give her another chance.
A: "Are you ready to behave and be quiet while we have the meeting?"
E: "errrr... errrr...i dont like the meeting...errr....errrr."
A: "Ok, let's go."
By the time we got outside, the royal fit had begun. I dont know that I've ever seen her this mad, or anywhere near this mad, before today. Through her screams, she told me she was ready to behave.
A: "Ok, can you tell me that again in normal voice, a quieter voice."
E: "ERRRR... ERRRR... I'm ready to BEHAAAAAAVE... ERRR."
A: "Ok, I guess not. Let's go home. We'll try again next week."
But this is where it gets really challenging. How can I get to the car with Kevin in the stroller and Ellie refusing to walk? I thought about going in to ask someone to watch Kevin while I carried Ellie to the car. No, I dont want to do that, I thought. Then everyone inside the school will know how crazy my kid is and what an ineffective parent I am. Well, it didnt really matter anyway. Those inside the greeting area already knew how little control I had. I guess she was so loud that they could hear her. The nice receptionist came out to help me.
Ellie just grunted at her, too. But it was getting worse. Now, she was swinging her lunch box at me. Fortunately they aren't metal lunchboxes anymore! So, I tried to pick her up, but she started pulling at my face and kicking me. All while this nice lady was outside trying to help me. I'm serious. It was that bad.
So, I picked Ellie up, kicking and screaming and hitting, while the nice lady pushed Kevin in the stroller. I loaded Ellie and Kevin, and apologized over and over to the lady. How embarrassing. She said she's seen it all before. But this was one monster fit. I don't think I've ever seen a kid throw this kind of fit! So, we sat in the car for a while because Ellie is so strong and was fighting me so much that I couldn't get her in buckled into the car seat. She jumped into the front console and screamed that the wind from the air conditioning was scary and the music was too loud and we need to go back to school RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
She was so angry and mad. I could just see it in her eyes and in the way she was kicking and thrashing and yelling. It reminded me of how I sometimes felt as a kid. I can remember sitting in my room being so mad that I wanted to punch the wall. It was pretty rare, but I still remember that feeling. So, I also felt a little sorry for her. This was the true test of a mother's love because only her mother could feel sorry for her at this moment!
Eventually after about 15 minutes, I was so frustrated and getting scared that she was going to hurt herself or the car with all her thrashing and hitting everything in sight. So, I forced her into the seat and kept reminding her that all this was her choice. But I don't think she cared whose choice it was!
Anyway, about 1 mile down the road she was halfway out of her carseat. So, I pulled over, put her back in, and gave her something to drink. Eventually, she calmed down and told me she wanted to stay at school forever. She had calmed down by the time we got home, but she told me that my "punishment for my choice to punish her is that she is never going to hug me ever again." Thank God for their short memories!
At lunch, we played "Two Goods and a Bad". This is usually a dinnertime game where we pick the two best parts and the one worst part of the day. Her two goods were: 1) Going to school and 2) Coming home from school (WHAT? How is that a good? Isn't that what the huge fit was about???) Her bad was not getting to eat at a restaurant (WHAT??!! What about the huge fit she threw less than 30 minutes earlier????).
As adults, when we're having a tough day, we can say, "Tomorrow is a new day." I guess for kids it's more like, "Next hour is a new hour." I dont know. What a day. It's quiet time for Ellie now, and nap time for Kevin. Needless to say, I need the break right now!!!
